Dan Hughes and Jonathan Baylin in 2012 identified and named a syndrome they called Blocked care.
Their research shows that if you don’t get enough positive strokes back from the person you care for you can literally turn into old playdoh. Your ability to empathise and care for your child is reduced so that parenting becomes a chore.
Parenting whilst in stressed out survival mode makes us defensive, reactive, unable to emotionally regulate and empathise.
Blocked care involves the shutting down of the part of the brain called the cingulate where emotional pain is usually registered as part of a parent’s empathic response to a child’s distress.
The best way out of this is extreme self care. You need to put yourself first some of the time, do the things you love and start loving yourself a little bit more. Everyone will benefit from a healthy, happy you and your relationship with your family will start to improve too.
"I was impressed by the way the Adoption Support course "Building Resilience"was structured and so easy to navigate. Gill is an excellent presenter. There was a wide range of relevant, experienced based content, delivered in an enthusiastic, caring, considered way. I enjoyed the activities and found them to be a great way of recapping on what I had learnt and adapting the strategies to suit my situation. I have learned many new ideas and found myself questioning my own feelings and behaviours"
- Gill Maddison -
Member of the International Stress Management Association
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