Dan Hughes and Jonathan Baylin in 2012 identified and named a syndrome they called Blocked care.
Their research shows that if you don’t get enough positive strokes back from the person you care for you can literally turn into old playdoh. Your ability to empathise and care for your child is reduced so that parenting becomes a chore.
Parenting whilst in stressed out survival mode makes us defensive, reactive, unable to emotionally regulate and empathise.
Blocked care involves the shutting down of the part of the brain called the cingulate where emotional pain is usually registered as part of a parent’s empathic response to a child’s distress.
The best way out of this is extreme self care. You need to put yourself first some of the time, do the things you love and start loving yourself a little bit more. Everyone will benefit from a healthy, happy you and your relationship with your family will start to improve too.
"‘Very insightful. Allowed me to see that some of my children’s behaviour is them seeking sensory stuff. Lots of very practical things to do to help my children develop. That there is something that will help no matter what age. Thank you very much for sharing some of your person examples – it was very helpful.’"
- Rebecca Fernandez -
Member of the International Stress Management Association
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