It is vital that we build emotional muscle and keep putting deposits into our energy bank. We need as much emotional currency as possible to remain in a giving and responding state rather than a reacting one. Time for ourselves is a vital piece of your week and day. I always advocate 365 holidays a year, even if it's just a minute or two. When people complain that they don't have time my reply is always " you would find time for diarrhoea!!" Why is it we can find time for the unpleasant things in life and what does that say about us. What are we teaching our children about self worth if we don't value ourselves?
So here are some suggestions for what you can do to reduce your stress by looking after yourself.
A healthy, happy you will go a long way to bringing harmony within the home.
A regular massage with help ease muscular tension, lower blood pressure, stimulate digestion and immunity, slow the heart rate and deepen breathing.
Nature-bathe- go for a walk in the countryside. Research is showing that being in nature lowers blood pressure, regualtes hormones and impacts our brain waves possitively.
Learn to prioritise and manage your time will enhance a sense of being in control rather than pressure controlling you.
Be less perfectionist- the sun will still rise if you don’t change the beds for a couple more days.
Communication, be open and show your feelings to appropriate people
Get support particularly from other adoptive parents which is worth its weight in gold; they will understand.
Safeguard your leisure time and be sure to continue some of your hobbies, see your friends and exercise. A few hours of quality leisure time will more than offset the stress of home and work. A change is as good as a rest is really true!
Look after your diet as a poor diet will only add to your stress. Too much caffeine, sugar, alcohol, convenience foods, salt, additives and fats will adversely affect your mental state.
Regular exercise will help burn up the stress hormone adrenaline and will improve the body’s ability to utilize oxygen, thereby energizing the body.
Take time out to be quiet and reflective. Often when we are in a relaxed state answers to problems come easily and effortlessly, whilst sweating over them has produced no results.
Take up a form of relaxation- yoga, meditation, heart math, mindfulness or tai chi
Be flexible and bend like the willow don’t resist like the oak, it is the willow that weathers the storm
Be careful not to tolerate the situation in the hope it will go away, or they will grow out of it. Ask for help from wherever you can. My sons school is amazingly supportive and are using his pupil premium for some therapy.
"Always good to refresh and remind plus some new ideas too. This adoption support course on adoption stress and depression was very helpful. Loved the way your referred to your son and were very honest about getting it ‘wrong’ sometimes. I think it’s always good for adopters to remind themselves that were are not perfect, not should we strive to be. ‘Good enough’ most of the time is great."
- L -
Member of the International Stress Management Association
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