I Am Not An Angry Person- Why do I react the way I do?

Published on 19th January 2017

I am not an angry person- why do I react like this? 

 

We are all born with primitive reflexes that are usually integrated within the first year or so of life as they no longer serve us. Think of infant reflexes such as sucking and rooting and the plantar grasp where the toes curl when the foot is stroked.  Two reflexes prevalent in our children are the moro (startle) and fear paralysis reflex which if not integrated are believed to contribute to learning challenges, behavioural challenges, anxiety, emotional imbalances and overwhelm. These reflexes are closely related to our stress response. The moro is linked to the fight and flight part of the response and the fear paralysis to the freeze. By repeating simple movements usually done in infancy through the guidance of a Rhythmic Movement Consultant (Gill is qualified) these reflexes can be integrated and our children more regulated.    
What can also happen is that the parent on the receiving end of a negative behaviour can be traumatised and their reflexes become active, causing them to dysregulate. A dysregulated parent can contribute to a negative downward spiral within the family dynamic.

By repeating some rhythmic movements of childhood both you and your child will calm. Try:

swinging on a swing together

lying on the floor and rolling your head from side to side

 Do a similar thing with your feet on the floor and knees bent so you rhythmically rock your legs from side to side. You need to do it for just a minute a day, most days for a month and see what happens! Good luck ! 

 

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"I found it very interesting and useful to reflect on how I respond to stress and what little changes could help with that. It has made me think that rather than focusing on what stresses my children, I also need to be aware of my own triggers. In recognising how hard it can be to inhibit my own behaviour, I feel/hope I might be more empathetic to my son."

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