There is no doubt in my mind, being an adopter is stressful-big time for most of us. It can be challenging on many levels: Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual but it is the mixture of emotions we experience that is the most draining.
So today I am going help you be a little less stressed.
Imagine a surfer, surfing the wave. They couldn’t always do that. They had to develop the poise and balance through determination and practice.
Resilience is the same. It can be developed by anyone over time. We can all learn to surf- some of us will be better than others, but we can all learn to at least stay on the board and ride the adoption wave.
In a nutshell it is the ability to bounce back, the capacity to bring out the best in you during the worst of times and where difficult situations are perceived as “not so difficult”.
People who are resilient have a greater comfort zone and some actually thrive on challenge. Others are flexible and creative during adversity. Their moto could be instead of “Try Harder” They think “Try Different”
This is where my focus is going to be. After all, Einsteins definition of insanity was “to keep doing the same thing and expect different results”
How many times do we say (shout!) “put your shoes on” with no response? Time to try doing things a little differently me thinks!
Imagine your brain is like a motorway. There’s no satnav so you just keep taking the same road as it;
We may even get ourselves a satnav, but initially we may not trust it when it tells us to go up an unknown little country lane. "No, I’m going to go the way I know" you say to it.
You may find yourself being a little like that reading my suggestions on how to be different. It’s just not comfortable to do things in a different way. This is the right time to come out of your comfort zone! If we dont, we'll end up just keep going down that same road with the same old, same old.
So with no further ado here are some suggestions:
Be playful with the ideas!
Shout, cajole, drag, ignore Tickle, stroke head, read some jokes, give instructions in a funny voice
You get angry and smack Have an elastic band on your wrist you snap
You get angry and slam doors Punch a pillow
They get angry and slam doors Punch a pillow
They are mean to the cat Have an old toy cat they can pull apart
You swear Have a few mantras on post it notes
Don’t add fuel to the fire
Less said more peace
Take a chill pill
This wont matter 5 years from now
Focus on what they’re doing wrong Play to everyones strengths and notice those
Getting onto an argument Blow a whistle and have a break from it
Imagining the worst Break it down into manageable chunks
Feeling guilty, useless, Accept own limitations and vulnerabilities –compassion for self, feel the negative feelings fully for a short while and then allow them to transform
Childs behaviour is just too much Pattern interrupt- do something completely distracting eg put on a clowns wig
For a much more extensive training on stress management for adopters, book my 2 day e-course. You have access for a year and can dip into it as and when you want.
Member of the International Stress Management Association
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