Building Resilience to Stress Less

Published on 5th September 2016

Building Resilience to Improve Stress Management for Adopters

There is no doubt in my mind, being an adopter is stressful-big time for most of us. It can be challenging on many levels: Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual but it is the mixture of emotions we experience that is the most draining.

So today I am going help you be a little less stressed.

Imagine a surfer, surfing the wave. They couldn’t always do that. They had to develop the poise and balance through determination and practice.

Resilience is the same. It can be developed by anyone over time. We can all learn to surf- some of us will be better than others, but we can all learn to at least stay on the board and ride the adoption wave.

What is Resilience?

In a nutshell it is the ability to bounce back, the capacity to bring out the best in you during the worst of times and where difficult situations are perceived as “not so difficult”.

People who are resilient have a greater comfort zone and some actually thrive on challenge. Others are flexible and creative during adversity. Their moto could be instead of  “Try Harder” They think “Try Different”

This is where my focus is going to be. After all, Einsteins definition of insanity was “to keep doing the same thing and expect different results”

How many times do we say (shout!) “put your shoes on” with no response? Time to try doing things a little differently me thinks!

Imagine your brain is like a motorway. There’s no satnav so you just keep taking the same road as it;

  • Feels familiar and is safe
  • Will get you to your destination (eventually)
  • You can drive there without thinking

We may even get ourselves a satnav, but initially we may not trust it when it tells us to go up an unknown little country lane. "No, I’m going to go the way I know"  you say to it.

You may find yourself  being a little like that reading my suggestions on how to be different. It’s just not comfortable to do things in a different way. This is the right time to come out of your comfort zone! If we dont, we'll end up  just keep going down that same road with the same old, same old. 

So with no further ado here are some suggestions:

Be playful with the ideas!



Old Way                                        New Way

Shout, cajole, drag, ignore                                                    Tickle, stroke head, read some jokes, give instructions in a funny voice

You get angry and smack                                                      Have an elastic band on your wrist you snap

You get angry and slam doors                                                Punch a pillow

They get angry and slam doors                                              Punch a pillow

They are mean to the cat                                                     Have an old toy cat they can pull apart

You swear                                                                            Have a few mantras on post it notes

                                                                                           Don’t add fuel to the fire

                                                                                           Less said more peace

                                                                                           Take a chill pill

                                                                                            This wont matter 5 years from now


Focus on what they’re doing wrong                                       Play to everyones strengths and notice those

Getting onto an argument                                                   Blow a whistle and have a break from it

Imagining the worst                                                            Break it down into manageable chunks

Feeling guilty, useless,                                                        Accept own limitations and vulnerabilities –compassion for self, feel the                                                                                           negative feelings fully for a short while and then allow them to transform


Childs behaviour is just too much                                        Pattern interrupt- do something completely distracting eg put on a clowns                                                                                           wig


Good luck!!

For a much more extensive training on stress management for adopters, book  my 2 day e-course. You have access for a year and can dip into it as and when you want.








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