Adoption Support What is Resilience

Published on 4th May 2017

Adoption Support What is Resilience?

In a nutshell resilience is the ability to bounce back, the capacity to bring out the best in you during the worst of times and where difficult situations are perceived as “not so difficult”.

People who are resilient have a greater comfort zone and some actually thrive on challenge. Others are flexible and creative during adversity.

Their moto could be instead of  Try Harder

is Try Different

This is where my focus is going to be. After all, Einsteins definition of insanity was “to keep doing the same thing and expect different results”

How many times do we say (shout!) “put your shoes on” with no response?

Time to try doing things a little differently me thinks

Imagine your brain is like a motorway. There’s no satnav so you just keep taking the same road as it;

  • Feels familiar and is safe
  • Will get you to your destination (eventually)
  • You can drive there without thinking

We may even get ourselves a satnav, but initially we may not trust it when it tells us to go up an unknown little country lane. No, I’m going to go the way I know you say to it.

You are likely to be like that reading my suggestions on how to be different. It’s just not comfortable to do things in a different way

Yet we often just keep going down that same road when there are other options.

So with no further ado here are some suggestions:

Be playful with the ideas, experiment and invent your own. Good Luck! 

 

Old Way                                 New Way

Shout, cajole, drag, ignore                                  Tickle, stroke head, read some jokes, give instructions in a funny voice

You get angry and smack                                    Have an elastic band on your wrist you snapYou get angry and slam doors

They get angry and slam doors                            Punch a pillow

They are mean to the cat                                    Have an old toy cat they can pull apart

You swear                                                           Have a few mantras on post it notes (see below)

Focus on what they’re doing wrong                      Play to everyones strengths and notice those

Getting onto an argument                                   Blow a whistle and have a break from it

Imagining the worst                                            Break it down into manageable chunks

Feeling guilty, useless,                                         Acceptance of own limitations and vulnerabilities 

Childs behaviour is just too much                         Pattern interrupt with a crazy distraction

 

Mantras

Don’t add fuel to the fire

Less said more peace

Take a chill pill

Breathe

This wont matter 5 years from now

 

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