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My relationship with my son (like any intimate relationship) has moments of great closeness, fun, camaraderie, connection and love. Imagine that being the centre of the number 8. Then something happens and the two of us we will move apart and sit somewhere along the line that makes one of the 2 circles of the 8. Maybe I am tired, have had some bad news or am swamped with work and he does something to annoy me. (Possibly he picks up intuitively on my lack of being present for him and does something to get my attention).
If I react negatively we will move further and further apart. The relationship may even get so fractured that we become 2 separate circles, living almost separate lives.
This is common, but it is up to me as the adult to do something as soon as I can to bring us closer and hopefully to be back at the centre of our 8. It may be as simple as an apology or a hug.
Dan Hughes advocates PACE. http://ddpnetwork.org/about-ddp/meant-pace/ playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy and it really does work.
"Gill Tree's Adoption Support course on Building Resilience was just what I needed. The workbook and exercises made you think about stress and how you handle it. The Stress course was both interesting and useful. It felt like Gill was interested in me, it was almost like having her in my living room! I was able to go through the course at my own speed and access it as and when I needed and wanted to! It is something I probably need to revisit after some time and I would be keen to use this type of format again now I know it works so well! Thank you Gill""
- Nikki Wilson Murray -
Member of the International Stress Management Association
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