IntroductionToNonViolentResistance

Published on 5th May 2021

I've walked a mile in your shoes

Having been a foster carer to nine different placements, you would think adopting a three year old boy would be a breeze- wouldn't you?! 

i became a single adopter in 2011 to such a highly challenging child, that I felt helpless, manipulated, undermined, exhausted and depressed. My lived experience of child to parent violence, attachment disorder and blocked care, provides me with a unique empathy and understanding when working with other parents and carers. 

As a family, we received a lot of assistance including DDP a type of psychotherapy, but it was Non-Violent Resistance that turned things around.  I became so convinced in the method that I trained in it professionally.

After a twenty year career teaching stress management in Industry, I founded Adoption Academy in 2014, initially providing resilience programmes. I have worked with over twenty adoption and fostering agencies and am trained in; Neuro Linguistic Programming, Neuro-Agility, Rhythmic Movement Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy and Non-Violent Resistance.

What is Non Violent Resistance (NVR)?

NVR is an empowering and non-physical method for parents and carers to manage and connect with children to reduce and eradicate violence and abuse. It also works with controlling and manipulative children. 

The aim of NVR is to re-stablish your presence in the childs’ mind, develop a co-operative, more harmonious relationship and for the balance of power to be addressed.

The need to control to avoid being controlled dissipates in both the child and parent.

My Unique Programme -NVR combined with NLP, Solution Focused Therapy and Resilience, aims to teach you to:

  • De-escalate conflict during emotionally charged incidents
  • Prioritise problematic behaviour 
  • Break the ‘seal of silence’, overcome the adults isolation and develop support networks within the family and community
  • Raise parental or adult presence through several kinds of considered and organised protest and ensuring there are regular relationship building activities
  • Repair the parent-child relationship through reconciliation gestures, repair and relationship based play
  • Desist in engaging with the behaviour to disrupt the learnt and patterned negative behaviour of the child
  • Ensure extreme self-care, practice self -regulation and meet their own needs
  • Develop reflective forms of communication and non-verbal communication
  • Apply the NVR approach to discipline and natural consequences 
  • Apply NVR principles in a Trauma informed manner

It is not possible to put all the principles in place in one go, it may take several months and it requires a high level of commitment from the caregiver to stick with the programme. For some the principles will be challenging.The results and rewards however can be immense and effect lasting change for the child, their behaviour and the family dynamic.

The NVR course is a refreshing and practical course that doesn’t seek to change you or your child but focuses on changing the approach to the issues in a non-violent, non-confrontational way. The approach of natural and logical consequences was an eye-opener for me and wondered why did I not think of this before as a consistent and manageable way to deal with unacceptable behaviours. Gill pitched this course so that there was something for everyone no matter where in your journey you were or your particular circumstances. The one-to-one support was then focused on your issues and altogether it is a course well worth doing if you are serious about changing your family’s happiness and  health. I cannot praise it enough. Michelle B

Our Menu of Provision

  • Introductory one day workshop -live or on zoom
  • Closed group work programme of eight x two-hour sessions in a group of up to six families, plus four x one to one hourly mentoring sessions over zoom. Organised for your agency or individual families canjoin our public programme
  • One to one mentoring

Adoption Academy work has been funded by the Adoption Support Fund so if you are an adopter or special guardian do ask your adoption support social worker to apply for funding for you. I do also provide training for foster care agencies.

Introducing The Non-Violent Resistance Approach   You can view a video of me speaking about NVR. 

I am also holding free introductory sessions via zoom to help parents decide if the programme is for them on Friday 14th May 10-11.30am and Thursday 20th May 8-9.30pm

Book an introductory session here

Please feel free to call me to discuss your family's needs on 0203 553 1060.

Best wishes

Gill x

 

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"Thank you for your honesty about what it’s like to parent an adopted child. It was refreshing and comforting. "

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Member of the International Stress Management Association 

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GM Tree Training Ltd
5 Clumber Drive
Frome
Somerset BA11 2LG
United Kingdom
T: +44 (0)203 553 1060

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