Having been a foster carer to nine different placements, you would think adopting a three year old boy would be a breeze- wouldn't you?!
I became a single adopter in 2011 to such a highly challenging child, that I felt helpless, manipulated, undermined, exhausted and depressed. My lived experience of child to parent violence, attachment disorder and blocked care, provides me with a unique empathy and understanding when working with other parents and carers.
As a family, we received a lot of assistance including DDP, but it was Non-Violent Resistance that turned things around. I became so convinced in the method that I trained in it professionally.
After a twenty year career teaching stress management in Industry, I founded Adoption Academy in 2014 initially providing resilience programmes. I have worked with over twenty adoption and fostering agencies and am trained in; Neuro Linguistic Programming, Neuro-Agility, Rhythmic Movement Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy and Non-Violent Resistance.
“She used examples from her own experience as a foster carer and adopter, in a very appropriate way. I felt this helped the carers to feel at ease/understood – she gave examples of doing things wrong too and how she moved on from this too! I thought her style was very supportive but also, she was able to challenge carers thinking in an appropriate way”. Support Social Worker
NVR is an empowering and non-physical method for parents and carers to manage and connect with children to reduce and eradicate violence and abuse. It also works with controlling and manipulative children.
The aim of NVR is to re-stablish parental presence in the childs’ mind, develop a co-operative, more harmonious relationship and for the balance of power to be addressed.
The need to control to avoid being controlled dissipates in both the child and parent.
It is not possible to put all the principles in place in one go, it may take several months and it requires a high level of commitment from the caregiver to stick with the programme. For some the principles will be challenging.The results and rewards however can be immense and effect lasting change for the child, their behaviour and the family dynamic.
The NVR course is a refreshing and practical course that doesn’t seek to change you or your child but focuses on changing the approach to the issues in a non-violent, non-confrontational way. The approach of natural and logical consequences was an eye-opener for me and wondered why did I not think of this before as a consistent and manageable way to deal with unacceptable behaviours. Gill pitched this course so that there was something for everyone no matter where in your journey you were or your particular circumstances. The one-to-one support was then focused on your issues and altogether it is a course well worth doing if you are serious about changing your family’s happiness and health. I cannot praise it enough. Michelle Bissoo
High efficacy and very low drop-out rates make this a very efficient and cost-saving approach for CAMHS clinicians and professionals in Social Services or the independent sector. Working with NVR can help prevent family or placement breakdown.
I would like to discuss arranging a bespoke package of NVR provision to meet the requirements of you and your family(ies) which could include:
Adoption Academy work has been funded by the Adoption Support Fund
"Always good to refresh and remind plus some new ideas too. This adoption support course on adoption stress and depression was very helpful. Loved the way your referred to your son and were very honest about getting it ‘wrong’ sometimes. I think it’s always good for adopters to remind themselves that were are not perfect, not should we strive to be. ‘Good enough’ most of the time is great."
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Member of the International Stress Management Association
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